Striving for Skinny Jeans

Screech.....thump...thump...

2012-03-02T14:06:00.001-05:00

That was the sound of the needle screeching across the record. (i.e. records are round discs that we used to play on a turntable in the olden days before the invention of the cassette tape and subsequently the CD).

Today started off okay, I woke up in kind of a fog, I was still tired but the plow was outside and I couldn't fall back to sleep. So I got up and had my tea. I had to run to the market to get the groceries for days 7-10 of my reboot.

Run to the market, do my shopping, stop by my parents house to drop off some crumpets that I bought for my mom, sat and chatted with dad for a bit. On the drive home realized I forgot to pick up some coconut water at the market, so drove to the natural food store to get some, while there I picked up half a turkey sandwich and then went to walk my friends dogs.

I finally got home at 1pm. Completely famished and had not eaten anything, needless to say the half of turkey sandwich went in my gullet. *sigh*

Okay. So this little mishap is not going to deter me. I'm back on plan for this evening, pounding water and will just chalk this up to one of those days where when you don't plan you end up indulging in things you shouldn't. Good thing it was only an organic half of a turkey sandwich and not a gallon of ice-cream. As of this morning I was down 2.5 lbs. Hopefully I won't be up tomorrow after this mishap.

Tomorrow is a new day. Never look back.

Getting the Hang of This

2012-03-01T19:21:00.000-05:00

Reboot Day 4: Today was a decent day. I was concerned after the massive cravings of burgers I was getting yesterday so decided NOT to watch the Chew or Food Network until all my meals were done for the day! HA!

Breakfast was delicious. It was called Tart Tasty Treat and it was just that. A mixture of mint, kiwi, mango, pineapple, orange and pink grapefruit. Of course it was a small amount, only 1/4 of each fruit, but it was really tasty and I will definitely add this into my rotation after I get off the reboot.

It was that small...I wanted more!

Today's juice was brought to you by the color green. Not only were the veggies/fruit green. So weren't my cutting board and Pampered Chef knife, I think I have a little bit of an issue with green. Cilantro, poblano pepper, cucumber, apple and a lime.

Green IS my favorite color after all

This juice was pretty tasty, the lime was pretty strong in it, so about halfway through the juice, I really didn't want to drink anymore of it. Maybe next time I'll only put in 1/2 the lime.


Green IS the theme of the day!

Lunch was a cucumber salad, which was fabulous (although I put a little too much cayenne pepper), 3 seedless cucumbers, salt, pepper, red onions, mixed together with some fresh ginger, cayenne pepper and lime juice. It was very refreshing and I will definitely make it again. In the future I might use a vidalia, the red onion was a little too strong. Also with lunch, I had a second juice, called Sunset Juice. This brought back the previous juiced Beets which was making me a bit nervous. This recipe was beets, red pepper, orange, sweet potato and an apple. This one was definitely sweeter due to the orange and apple, but I kept tasting red pepper (which I'm not a fan) again, I may alter this one in the future with a little less red pepper and it will be a keeper as well.

CHEERS!

Typically the juices are around 16oz which is a lot to drink as it is, this one, was closer to 24 oz. that's A LOT OF JUICE!

Tonight's dinner was suppose to be zucchini's with tomatoes and the sweet potato and carrot fries again. I opted to remake the squash and mushroom dish, they had similar calories as the zucchini and tomato recipe and I am definitely not a zucchini fan so I know I would have had to choke this one down.

So Four Days down. Only 6 more to go....I think I can...I think I can....I think I can...

Growling Stomach

2012-02-29T19:02:00.001-05:00

Reboot Day 3: I'm kind of getting the hang of this now. So Day three started with a nice breakfast again, what I've noticed is that you only eat fruit in the morning, whether it be the breakfast or the morning juice, you never eat any fruit in the afternoon. Interesting.

The juice today was Minty Berry Juice a mix of 2 cups of fresh mint, blueberries, strawberries and kiwi. It was delicious. I unfortunately didn't defrost my fruit early enough so I didn't get enough juice and it showed throughout the day, my stomach has been growling all day long.

Lunch was a big salad and dinner was the veggie soup from last night plus sweet potato and carrot *fries*....I should have known I wouldn't like the baked carrots and I should have just eaten them raw. But the sweet potato were delicious with some cumin and salt and pepper on them, they had a nice spice. I will definitely make these again.


Sweet Potatoes YUM...Carrots Not so much

So Day 3 Done and I'm feeling good. I am consuming about 12 glasses of water a day to keep the hunger pains away. One suggestion if you consider doing a reboot, do not watch the Food Network or the Chew because I've been craving Burgers all day. *sigh*
7 more days and my first reboot will be complete.

Bring on Day 4.

Highs and Lows

2012-02-28T20:20:00.002-05:00

Reboot Day 2: Woke up feeling really good. Breakfast was phenomenally delicious again, I think I really love my breakfasts.

Check out the morning juice....looks delicious doesn't it? Some berry concoction. Well it is gross. I drank it but I had to hold my nose through all gag worthy 16 oz. I wanted to get the vitamins in so I drank it but this definitely won't be something I'll be carrying over into my regular eating after I get done the reboot. No berries whatsoever, beets, carrots, celery, radishes, jalapeno...and it tasted like radishes....tons of radishes. I like radishes but not to drink.

Lunch was a carrot/dill salad and introduction of fennel. The smell of it was like licorice, which I do not like, but combined with the other veggies in the salad it wasn't noticeable.

I couldn't eat my afternoon snack which was a seaweed salad because the day just got away from me so I'll be eating that tomorrow so I'll let you know.

Dinner tonight was a green vegetable soup made of leeks, spinach, broccoli and zucchini. It was okay, I am not a zucchini fan, so I just kind of ate it quickly. The next item I had to eat was a squash/mushroom/onion and sage concoction. One thing I can divulge here I do not like vegetables so this is a huge thing for me to do this reboot. 1) I don't like squash and 2) I don't like mushrooms.

IT - WAS - DELICIOUS...if you missed that...I will repeat myself....IT - WAS - DELICIOUS!

It called for acorn squash but my grocery store didn't have it so I bought butternut squash, you roast the squash brushed with olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper. While that is roasting you saute a small onion and 2 cloves of garlic (minced) in olive oil. Then add to that one portabello mushroom, some fresh sage, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes (it called for a pinch I put in 2). Then when the squash is done, you put the mushroom mix on top of the squash and just bake for another 10 mins.

Doesn't look like much...but the spicy mushroom mix on top of the sweet squash. I am definitely going to make this again. Fabulous.

So Day two is done and Day three will be challenging as I will be out with my mom for a little while.

If anyone wants the recipe for the squash, comment and I will send it along to you.

Reboot Day One

2012-02-27T18:29:00.000-05:00

Today I started my 10-day Reboot. This isn't as drastic as just drinking juice everyday, it's a combo of eating and drinking juices. But you are only eating fresh vegetables and fruit all.

Breakfast was a cherry cinnamon apple bake that was out of this world. I actually sent it to my mother as it was that good. I actually think I would eat this as a sweet evening dessert.

Around 11 I drank the green juice. I was worried about the juicing especially the greens. 2 cups of spinach, 2 cups of kale, 2 green apples, 4 stalks of celery, 1/2 medium cucumber and 1 inch of fresh ginger. It was bright green (see image below) but it was surprisingly tasty and I didn't have as bad of a reaction as I thought I would.

About an hour after my green drink I went and walked my friends dogs and then came back home and did Wii fit for about an hour.

Lunch was very late for me an arugula/spinach salad with Jicama (a new veggie that I've never had) and it kind of tasted like a raw potato to me, some onions, tomato and avocado.

and dinner was another salad, this time romaine, arugula, tomato, cucumbers and avocado. The dressing was a Ginger-Soy Dressing and it was so fabulous that I may actually make it and use it as a marinade for some chicken. Delicious!

So Day One is done and I feel pretty good...I'll be more thankful when I can start making a dent in the veggies that have overtaken my fridge.

Sagging....

2012-02-26T17:31:00.000-05:00

My pants that is...no I haven't joined the latest hip/hop band...although I have mad lyrics I'm just referring to how loose my pants have gotten.

I tried on a pair of jeans the next size down and I'm just not quite there yet, maybe about 5 more pounds and I will be. So I will have to keep wearing these for the time being despite the daily protests of my mother.

So if you see me this weekend...don't throw up any gang signs. I have no idea what they mean...I'm just a fat girl in the process of transforming my body.

Bitches can I get a what what...

Holy Vegetables Batman!

2012-02-24T12:11:00.003-05:00

Today I went grocery shopping for the reboot. I got my free juicer in the mail yesterday so I was super excited to start.

First I must say, thank heavens for Market Basket. The groceries I bought there were astounding, my entire cart was full of fresh produce, FULL! and I spent $103.00 dollars. I was amazed and it does go to show you that fresh produce isn't that expensive, I have spent $100 dollars on packaged foods and walked away with only maybe 3 bags, and this grocery visit I spent the same amount and had close to 15 bags of food. I was impressed.


Two huge bowls of Fruit

Of course, despite the size of my fridge, getting it all in was challenging. YIKES! But I'm raring to go and am excited to start and see what I have. To be fair if anyone has looked at the reboot, you are only juicing 2 times a day and the rest of the day you are eating salad, soup or roasted veggies. So it's not as drastic as some might think.


All shelves and drawers full of veggies & herbs

If I could drop 5 lbs in the 10 days I'm doing the reboot, I think it will help jump-start the scale better.

I will you keep you apprised of the situation and how I am feeling. Here's to clean eating.

Traditions Thursday

2012-02-23T16:11:00.000-05:00

Comfort Foods. We all have them. Maybe yours is eggplant? (ick) Pasta? Beef Stew?

My all time favorite comfort meal is something my yiayia used to make for me when I was a little girl. Elbow macaroni with ground beef and plain yogurt mixed together. Although I would never subject anyone at my house to eat this as usually the reaction is Ewww. But it is delicious and reminds me of being a little girl.

Today was one of those days when you wanted something that gave you a little hug. So I made a chipolte Meatloaf and some rice pilaf. It is delicious and the smell of it cooking in the oven got my tastebuds in overdrive.

After pulling that out of the oven, I looked through the pantry to find something sweet to make. I settled on magic cookie bars. You know those graham cracker, chocolate chip coconut bars. They are currently baking. A friend of mine loves sweets...so I will no doubt bring the majority of them to her.

What is your favorite comfort meal? Dessert? What is the story behind it. Please share.

MOVE THAT SCALE

2012-02-18T13:01:00.003-05:00

Said in my best Ty Pennington imitation of the original "Move that Bus" on Home Makeover.

Finally after 3 weeks, my scale finally moved down 2 lbs. All you women and men out there that can just give up pasta for one day and lose 10 lbs. I say ~~fuck you~~ consider yourself blessed, because I have been working out twice a day every day and carefully meticulously counting every morsel that goes in my pie hole to lose a whopping 2 lbs.

Yup, it's just my lovely hormone ridden body that loves to hang on to every morsel, I think it finally gave up when I didn't stop working out. I imagine my bodies conversation with itself.

Day 1:

Starvings Body: Holy fuck is this woman nuts, she thinks her fat ass can do that many squats and get up again in the morning and do it again...*evil laugh* she's crazy.

Day 10:

Starvings Body: That bitch is still working out, and now she's feeding us smoothies with spinach and pumpkin, where did the cupcakes go? Where is the pasta we love so much...well I will show her, I'm not squeezing out anything.

Day 15:

Starvings Body: Hey Starving? Knock knock how did you like that little surprise when you woke up this morning. Aunt Flo came to visit, *evil laugh* I bet you are super pissed at the scale today....I hope this means you'll be eating your weight in chocolate this afternoon instead of boxing, boxing really makes my arms sore and I like to be squishy

Day 20: $%*@#@QP*_$()%&#( I cannot believe now on top of her regular hour workout, she's waking up and hula hooping on the Wii...Who the fuck is Wii? and where did he come from in trying to stimulate this fat chicks muscles? I don't wanna give up the fat...I don't wanna. *pout*

Day 25: Fine here is 2 lbs. Please celebrate with lasagna bitch.

Sorry to say to my body, I'm in it to win it! and I'm not giving up, I will take out my tape measure if I have too, but I'm keeping it up.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and keep up the good fight

Reboot...Reboot

2012-02-13T19:49:00.003-05:00

Last weekend I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" The description on the website states "Overweight, loaded up on steroids and suffering from a debilitating autoimmune disease, Joe was at the end of his rope and the end of his hope. With doctors and conventional medicine unable to help, Joe traded in junk food and hit the road with a juicer and generator in tow, vowing only to drink fresh fruit and vegetable juice for 60 days. Across 3,000 miles Joe had one goal in mind: To get off his pills and achieve a balanced lifestyle."

I have to tell you I am in love with Joe. He is super sweet and unlike some other documentaries specifically about health, he doesn't preach to the people he encounters along his journey. He talks to them, gets their opinion, and moves along. He meets another person (Phil) who also has the same autoimmune disease. Truly inspiring and made me cry (I am aware everything makes me cry). I highly recommend watching, whether you want to do a juicing yourself is entirely up to you, but it's a really great documentary.

I myself am considering a 10 day reboot. You can check out Joe's website here. What's great about Joe is he isn't charging for his knowledge, he has made a nice little community where people can share about doing a juice reboot, he gives you recipes and suggestions. The only thing that I'm weary of is the cost, as we know I'm on unemployment and buying a lot of fruits and veggies isn't cheap but I am going to give it a shot. I'll hit Market Basket on Friday and after a birthday party for a family friend on Saturday, will start my reboot on Sunday.

I will check in periodically to let you know how it's going. He suggests doing a 10 day reboot every quarter. I think I could easily do that.

Made a fabulous smoothie tonight:

1/2 cup POM Wonderful Juice
1/2 cup Unsweetened Coconut Milk
1/4 cup cranberries
1/4 cup blackberries
1/4 cup raspberries
1 cup spinach
1/2 cup 100% pumpkin puree
1 medium carrot

So yummy tasting (if I do say so myself) and full of fabulous antioxidants and fiber

Happy Monday!

New Toy

2012-02-09T12:39:00.001-05:00

As you can see from my ticker I finally broke through a plateau I hit when I got my monthly visitor. Because I have been working out consistently, I tried not to weigh too often as it just frustrated me. Today I weighed and I finally broke through it. I probably won't weigh again until Monday, so I again don't get discouraged with fluctuations. I'm really down a total of 20 lbs from when I started back in September, but only down 6 since I started tracking on Loseit.com and here.

I got a new toy....not that kind of toy...I know what some of you were thinking...you know who you are. Anyhow, I got a Wii. I've been wanting one for awhile and the price tag was right, so I finally got it and of course got Wii Fit Plus. I LOVE IT! I've been using it everyday to get in an extra 30 min workout in the morning. My only complaint is the business in between working out, it ends up taking about an hour and 1/2 to get in a full 30 mins of working out because of all the stopping and picking a new exercise. Maybe I need to play with it some more and set up a routine so I can just keep going with it and not have to take so long.

Today I strictly did strength training, but the last couple days I've been doing a combo of aerobic workouts of hula hoop/boxing and running. I can't believe just how much sweat I worked up just doing a 30 min strength routine. One thing is for certain, I'm weak on my right side. Every exercise that I did when I had to stand on one foot, my balance on my left foot was spot on, but the right was shaky. I love that I can work on this.

So 3 days a week I'm doing kickboxing/boxing at a friends house and 3 days a week I am doing my Slim in 6 workout plus, now I'm incorporating the 30 mins of Wii everyday. I think this might have finally helped the weight loss get upped. I can't be positive, last night i think I ate my weight in Somoas cookies, so I think definitely eating back some exercise calories is good for me in the weight loss department. I think adhering strictly to 1200 calories a day, might be too low for me.

In addition to the new toy (Wii) I also have been incorporating toe touches on my medicine ball (similar to what you do with a soccer ball) a few times a night during commercial breaks.

During kickboxing/boxing sessions doing hitch kicks. Let me tell you ladies, this works your abs hard. Since I started doing these my abs have been in a constant state of screaming at me. I started out with 5, then we have slowly worked up to 15 on each leg.

Any new fitness trends you have been trying? What keeps you motivated to try new things.

Staying on Track

2012-02-05T15:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was at an all day training for my home business. It was amazing, I got to see a sneak peek of the new spring product line, meet some amazing people and hear from our home office of all the exciting ways to share the business with people.

I was really nervous to be away from home, to be away from my computer and away from the normalcy of my daily routine. To make sure that I wouldn't go overboard and buy things that weren't good for me. I packed three waters (now I realize I should have packed more) two packages of dehydrated apples and some mints. I was all prepared for my day.

Lunch was a boxed lunch of a turkey sandwich with a cucumber, apple, bag of potato chips and a large cookie. I ate the sandwich and the bag of chips, and put away the rest of the meal.

I felt pretty confident that I didn't overindulge while away. However, I do think I should have packed more water. I had drank one bottle on the 2 hour ride to the training, one bottle with lunch and then one bottle afterwards. By the time I got home, I was so hungry and thirsty I thought I was going to fade away. Now of course if you saw my ass you'd know that simply isn't the case, I have so much junk in my trunk I'm not sure months of starving would even get rid of it all. But that is how I felt.

So although I think I did okay, I know it could have been better. How do you stay on track when there is no kitchen and limited areas to keep you focused?

I haven't lost any weight this week which was frustrating, however my jeans were falling off me all day (after I dried them in the dryer) but I measured and I have lost about 3 inches so I know the exercising is paying off...so I have to keep pushing as I know how stubborn my fat is and how hard it holds on, so I gotta just keep positive.

This sh%t is a pain in the neck

2012-01-30T11:18:00.000-05:00

Three steps forward...two back. I'm not stuck in a terrible Paula Abdul song but just the typical cha-cha of my life.

Last week I was on week two of getting back on track with my eating and exercising. I got my period, which ballooned the scale, it took me all week to lose the weight I "gained" during my period. Although I realize it's not truly fat I gained, but it's still frustrating to the psyche to see that on the scale. Next I woke up Thursday morning with a pinched nerve in my neck. I took it easy on Thursday, skipped my workout and was hoping that the rest of the week would be better. I worked out on Friday, but it was truly difficult.

Today I woke up and my neck is still bothering me. It's put me in a funk that I've been derailed on my workouts so soon back at it.

How do you work around an injury and not get derailed towards your goals?

Feeling fat and grumpy.

Aunt Flo and her Fat Sisters

2012-01-25T11:01:00.001-05:00

Oh yes I'm going there.

Aunt Flo came to visit on Sunday and she brought her fat sisters, bloaty, crampy and hungry. I can't express how much being a woman sometimes sucks. Gaining 5 lbs in a one day time span should be illegal, especially when you are killing yourself to lose weight.

Men have it so easy, don't ever let them fool you that they have it so rough you know because they have to pee standing up and not get to relax like us on the toilet. Oh no, let me be clear, they don't have to push a baby the size of a watermelon out of their size lemon special place, they don't have to deal with boobs the size of cantaloupes that if you bump them at the wrong time of the month could have you whimpering like a tech geek in line for the next iPhone nor do they have to deal with a fluctuation in weight so dramatic it could send the most sane person into a chain saw massacre freakout.

Now logically, I can say, don't worry about it, you know once that bitch stops visiting, you will be back to normal, but when you are trying hard to lose weight and keep things together, it's frustrating as hell to have almost a week that is "wasted" time that you could be losing, I feel as though this week of eating right and exercising was spent getting rid of these "phantom" pounds that surfaced and not on new poundage.

So I had to take a deep breath this morning before I consumed copious amounts of empty calories in the form of cookies and remind myself that it's a marathon not a sprint. That the good I am doing today, tomorrow and every day going forward will change my body overall and not for just a moment. How do you get over these moments? How do you keep from bingeing and throwing your hands up?

Breathe in....breathe out....breathe in....

Perfect Timing

2012-01-24T10:03:00.001-05:00

A friend posted this today and it was perfect timing to how I was feeling. I think I can...I think I can...

Oatmeal in a Snap!

2012-01-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

If you are anything like me, oatmeal is not something that you jump up and down to consume. Now don't get me wrong, if you threw some apples and cinnamon flavored oatmeal in front of me I would eat it. But as we all know, all that added sugar isn't that great for you.

So I found this recipe for Gingersnap Oatmeal in my mom's Diabetic Cooking magazine. Apparently, it has made it's rounds through Men's Health Magazine, they even use the same exact picture. HA!

Anyhow, it's simple to make and it was very delicious. I would say it's a good way to transition out of the kiddy aisle for oatmeal and to a regular more nutritious oatmeal. I know the added apple juice and the one gingersnap cookie adds sugar. But sometimes, it takes baby steps.

Gingersnap Oatmeal:

1/2 cup apple juice
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup quick cooking steel cut oats
1 gingersnap cookie
1 TBS chopped pecans

Heat 1/2 cup apple juice and water over high heat until it comes to a boil. Add oats and lower heat, let simmer about 5 mins. Remove from heat and let stand for 2 mins. Add rough chopped cookie and pecans on top. Adding fruit is also recommended.

Eat and enjoy!

Busting Goals like a BAMF

2012-01-21T11:07:00.000-05:00

This past weeks goal that I set for myself was to get 6 full (45 mins minimum) workouts in and I'm happy to say that I achieved that today when I braved the winter snowstorm to drive to a friends house to get our kickboxing/boxing session in. I feel great, I accomplished what I set out to do this week and it gave me a lot of personal satisfaction that I had that drive to get it done.

I am happy to report I am down 3 lbs this week as well for all my efforts. YAY ME!!

I have decided that Sunday is my rest day, but if I can do it I may try to squeeze in a stretching session to loosen up my tightened muscles from the hard workouts this week.

Next week AF should be visiting so I know my motivation will be waning (as will my stamina). So my goals are to again get 6 workouts in. Lose 2 lbs and to continue to make better choices on eating.

When I hit my first 20 lbs I'm rewarding myself with either a massage or a luxurious new beauty product.

What are your goals for the upcoming week to push yourself?

FDA-Helpful or Harmful?

2012-01-18T11:52:00.001-05:00

As I've gotten older and become more concious about what I put in my body, the more I grow distrustful of the government agencies that oversee our food and drugs. Now I'm not talking crazy -board myself in the house with no trespassing signs and grow lights in the basement distrustful, but more cautious.

The lobbyists in Washington are so powerful and resourceful that it's hard to be trustful of the people that they lie in bed with (i.e. our government agencies) that are put in place to protect the American people.

How many times have you read about a new pharmaceutical put on the market and approved by the FDA, to only find out 8 months later that it causes a hole in your heart? How are we as citizens suppose to feel safe if the government agency that approves a drug and a doctor that promotes a drug are being "bought"??

Now of course drug companies pay doctors to "speak" at engagements etc. but does this influence said doctors into promoting the very drugs that the pharmaceutical company is producing? Merck released information on payments to doctors on the premise of transparency. You can read about that here.

In the past 2 years, there has been 761 million dollars paid to doctors from pharmaceutical companies for consulting, speaking, research and other expenses, and this is just what is reported and it is 100% legal for pharmaceutical companies to pay doctors to promote their products. How does this make your doctor "objective" when finding the best protocol for you? Now I'm not saying all doctors are bought and paid for. I'm not saying that every doctor is unethical, however, is the line blurred?

Currently the Obama administration is wanting to require drug companies to disclose payments they make to doctors for research, consulting, speaking, travel and entertainment. One piece of protocol I myself feel comfortable supporting.

So what is your opinion? Can doctors and other health professionals be objective when it comes to receiving compensation from pharmaceutical companies?

Adding some sparkle

2012-01-17T03:18:00.002-05:00

It's a new year and a new look for my blog, in an effort to streamline I have renamed my blog. Striving for Skinny Jeans....since my primary focus is on diet and fitness, I wanted to be easily found so others having the same struggles could commiserate.

Hope 2012 is my year for success!

This is my recommendation?

2012-01-16T11:10:00.002-05:00

I'm a part of Shoedazzle, so far I haven't purchased any shoes but they do have quite a few I like. Today I got this.

First and foremost, when did I suddenly get on the "stripper" Shoedazzle shoe recommendation? Second, is it no wonder that Denise Richards designed it? Thirdly, can't I just donate actual cash to the Kidney Cancer Foundation instead of wearing these Barbie shoes?

Yikes.

Experimenting with Gourds

2012-01-12T17:16:00.005-05:00

After an entire day of baking gluten free cupcakes with homemade butter cream frosting and putting together the dough for Jacque Torres famous chocolate cookies, I decided to cook up some dinner.

I wanted to make some pasta, so I figured no time like the present to put the pumpkin add-ins that I mentioned a few days ago here.

I browned up some meatloaf mix and added in Classico Tomato and Basil, the entire jar (Classico Tomato and Basil is very low in sugar). Added in normal spices, garlic, hot pepper flakes a little Parmesan cheese. Then I added in 1 cup of pureed pumpkin. The consistency changed, it was a lot thicker, a much fuller body. I was getting kind of nervous about the flavor and hoping it didn't taste so bad as I just used the entire jar of sauce and all the meat I had. For Pasta Sauce it's 3 cups of sauce to one cup of pumpkin.

I am here to say it was delicious. It didn't change the taste of my pasta sauce at all, it was just a thicker body of sauce, but no change in flavor and trust me I don't like pumpkin at all, so I was very skeptical and quite nervous.

But how about this for some stats. According to the websites listed in the previous post: Adding pumpkin to pasta sauce cuts down on the sodium. Adding 1/2 cup of canned pumpkin has more than 3 grams of fiber and very little fat and only 40 calories. It also offers more than 3x's the vitamin A you need in a day in the form of beta carotene. It also is a good source of Vitamin C, Vitamin K, Iron and manganese. Now how's that for some added good stuff!

Now I think I earned myself a cupcake for dessert...what??

Primary Colors

2012-01-09T13:10:00.000-05:00

The political season has fallen upon us here in New Hampshire. I can't tell you how ~~psychotic~~ elated I feel about the multiple phone calls my answering machine has been screening from Texas, DC and far off lands. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make political campaigns exempt from the Do Not Call List????

But I digress. Tomorrow is primary day here in NH which means I'll have to forgo my typical day of eating bonbons and painting my toenails and buckle down and do my civic duty. Yes I vote, that's why you can always find me on facebook ~~bitching~~ colorfully debating about those ~~douchebags~~ fine elected officials.

So because New England Rocks Wicked Hard please enjoy one of our local comedians.

Pumpkin...not just for teens to steal off porches

2012-01-03T11:00:00.003-05:00

Due to my unemployment status I have been reading a ton as well as watching a lot of daytime TV. I've learned a lot of additional useless knowledge that I can ~~bore~~ wow people at parties with.

One of these was adding canned pumpkin to other dishes to add fiber and Vitamin A. I'm sure this was learned on The Doctors or Dr. Oz but I cannot be positive.

Now you are reading a post from someone who at best would eat pumpkin seeds, never a pumpkin pie has passed these lips (I know not much misses these lips) but pumpkin is one of the few things. So I ventured out to Market Basket to buy some cans of pumpkin since they are on sale now since Thanksgiving. I bought about 4 cans. You have to make sure it's strictly pureed pumpkin and nothing else added. Some cans add sugar to be used in pies.

Next I scoured the Internet to find these elusive recipes for said pumpkin. I couldn't believe, brownies, chili, spaghetti sauce. Who knew you could add fiber to all of these delicious items, am I the only one who was ignorant of pumpkin's glory? Okay. Maybe I was.

Anyhow here are a few foods you can add pumpkin into for some much needed fiber and vitamins. I'm not sure I'd want to add it to my macaroni and cheese but..whatever floats your boat!

Very Best Baking or Our Ohio and even for your Pet's so there you go...now you know what to do with the leftover cans of pumpkin from Thanksgiving!

Sharing

2011-12-29T12:55:00.000-05:00

The military is near and dear to me. My father is a veteran and I was once married to someone in the military. I will do anything to help them out. One way you can help is mail expired or even current coupons, all those circulars that come in the mail, you don't use all of those coupons, but consider cutting them out and mailing them off to some military bases. They can use expired ones as well.

Help the people that put their lives on the line for this country everyday.

Check out this link on how to send coupons: http://www.grocerysavingtips.com/expiredgrocerycoupons.htm

God Bless America!

Emotional Week

2011-12-27T14:45:00.001-05:00

This week has been very emotional.

Not having a job right now and the uncertainty of obtaining one is very stressful. I have worked since I was 13, I have been on my own since I was 20. It is very difficult to be laid off in this economy. If you have a job, you have no idea how difficult it truly is out there. 500 applicants applied for the one position I applied for a few weeks ago. Luckily for me I was able to be one of the 11 people that came in to interview. But the human resource manager read through 500 resumes to whittle down to the 11 they offered interviews too. For as many applications I have sent out in the last 4 months, I have only received 3 interviews. I have over 15 years experience, and 3 interviews in 4 months is crazy. I attended a seminar at the career center for unemployment and it was quite sobering. As explained to us, this is nothing like the depression of my grandparents generation, despite the news media attempting to make you believe otherwise, it's absolutely worse than it was back then. But worse of all I feel like a failure, especially because I know that the lay off was not due to the hard work I put in at my job, but more for a favor they wanted to do for another employee but couldn't do it with me still working there. This was hard for me, it's a personal slap in the face, that my well being as a person as well as someone who had worked for a company for almost a decade was so callously tossed aside. It really was an emotional blow.

One of my biggest problems is emotional eating, when I'm sad I eat, happy, etc. I've had this back and forth battle with weight all of my life. But being unemployed has brought it out even more. Being home all day on the computer looking for a job, you would think, well I have all the time in the world to workout...but I find that I want to eat more often, not because I'm hungry, but more so that I am bored, or depressed at the situation I find myself in.

I have been contemplating joining an OA class. There are several in the area and I've really been thinking maybe being with other people would help me get over some of these feelings of inadequacy. I feel like my weight does hold me back, I haven't been in a long-term relationship since my divorce 13 years ago. Have I put up a wall to not let anyone in? Or does my weight keep me from trying? I went on a date recently for the first time in 4 years, of course he was just recently divorced and not necessarily ready for dating, or maybe I was a complete spaz on the date, who knows. But it bothers me, it bothers me to almost be 40 and not have someone significant in my life. It's totally easy for friends/family to say "Oh it will happen, you are such a great person" but they also all have someone and have had someone for a long time, I am not sure if they remember how difficult it is to date out there, and for someone who is overweight its even harder.

So that's my dilemma, do I get up the courage and go to an OA meeting by myself? It's hard for me to enter some place by myself, but would it be good for me? Is it something that will help me? Anyone have experience with these type of meetings? Or maybe I need to go to counseling again, of course I don't have any insurance either, so that would be something I couldn't do right now.

Syonara 2011

2011-12-24T11:06:00.001-05:00

Today I am reflecting on 2011.

The start of the new year started out rough. A very close friend lost her mother at this time last year, sending a blanket of sadness everywhere as her mother was an amazing source of solace and happiness for an infinite amount of people.

This year did not fully recover from starting out this way. I realize people die, it happens all the time, but I didn't think so much heartache could follow.

A close family member lost their job and still almost a year later, cannot find anything. Another friends mother died at Easter. In the spring one of my sales managers completely berated me on the phone and made me feel about two feet tall saying completely hurtful and personal things. Not exactly sticking to my work for him, just personal. If he had said I was a fat fuck I wouldn't have been surprised for that to spill out during this tirade that's how personal it was.

Things started to look up in the early summer a friend invited me to accompany her in Hawaii, a place I'd always wanted to go but had never been invited. I accepted. A few months later, I got a 4% raise at work, I was started to feel better and then 3 weeks after my raise, my work "laid me off" after 9 years of working with them.

I went on my trip to Hawaii and forgot all my troubles and had the most amazing time of my life. But returning in the fall to a reminder that the economy despite all the news medias attempts to say it's getting better, let me assure you that is not the case. As reiterated by the Unemployment class I had to take at the Career Center, this is not your grandparents depression. It is much worse and much deeper than anyone wants to accept. If you don't "know" someone, it's difficult to land a position somewhere. The last two job interviews I went on received 300 and 500 applicants for the one position and the ONLY reason I got an interview is those people did their due diligence and weeded through all those resumes to find me.

So now we come full circle, tomorrow is Christmas, the extreme difficulty of the past year is rushing in on an emotional train on fire as if it was in an explosive Will Smith movie.

I choose to feel all the emotions and pain and look towards 2012 as a new beginning, as cliche as that may sound, I want 2012 to be a new start to an amazing life.

I wish all of my readers a wonderful holiday and I raise my booze laden glass of eggnog to cheer you into a fantastic new year.

Bless you and your families

One Day at a Time

2011-11-28T14:49:00.001-05:00

Not the fabulous 70's series starring the adorable Bonnie Franklin and Valerie Bertinelli, but just the mantra I'm going to keep repeating to myself during this phase of me trying to get back into another shape besides round.

I signed up for Loseit.com, if you haven't used it or don't even know what it is, it's a location to keep track of all your calories etc. exercise and goals. It will keep me accountable and you can connect with friends who also use the website, and it has a handy app for android and iPhone for when you are away from home and can't go on the Internet.

So now that I have returned the TAM I am heading back to Debbie Sieber and Slim in 6. This time, Debbie will not own me, she will be my bitch!

I made a fabulous smoothie for breakfast

1/4 cup of raspberries (whole frozen)
1/4 cup of blackberries (whole frozen)
1/4 cup of cranberries (whole frozen)
1 medium carrot
1/2 cup POM Wonderful juice
1/2 cup So Delicious Coconut Milk
1 serving of protein powder
1 cup ice

So good, a little tart but full of antioxidants! Yum 369 calories

Off to workout! What are you doing today to help you reach your goals?

Back to the basics

2011-11-25T16:47:00.001-05:00

The ~~minuscule~~ bevy of readers I have know that I purchased Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis about a month ago and I started the program a couple weeks ago.

What I am here to admit is that I returned it today to QVC. Unfortunately I just wasn't liking it. I'm sure all the people who have had success with TAM are ~~cursing my existence~~ sorry to see me stop the program but I just couldn't manage it. My experience is if I do not like the workout, I won't continue to do it, and I just didn't like it.

One thing I couldn't get past was the lack of instruction throughout the workout. I had to watch the DVDs to count the reps and write it down on a piece of paper because she does not let you know when transition is coming so if you don't know the rep amounts you have to watch the TV screen which puts my neck at an awkward angle that I don't think is proper form. I also could not get the hang of the cardio, and I just didn't like it. Every day was getting worse and worse for me to struggle with doing the workouts.

So it's back to Debbie Sieber and Slim in 6. The one and only workout program I know works for me. So back to the drawing board so they say. I know those that struggle with their weight, knows this feeling but I'm going to keep on trying until I succeed.

I actually managed to not overeat on thanksgiving. I had a salad as one of my sides and I left more than 1/2 on my plate and took it home. So not only do I have leftovers but I didn't go to bed feeling totally stuffed to the max.

How did you do with the holidays? Any healthy tricks you can share with my 2 readers?

Gratitude

2011-11-24T11:45:00.001-05:00

Today is Thanksgiving. I'm not in a very "holiday" spirit today. I'm kind of in a funk that I'm hoping to work out sooner rather than later. So I'm faking it until I make it.

Today I am thankful for my family, my true friends and everyone who brightens my life. I'm thankful that there are men and women who put their lives on the line everyday to keep our country safe. Some of those men and women cannot spend the day with their families and I thank them for this sacrifice.

I hope that everyone who doesn't quite have enough to make ends meet at this time of year, get to experience the grace of others that I can experience this year and find themselves with a wonderful holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Whether you choose to be with family, friends or just your pet...may you be hugged by love today.

Today's Workout brought to you by the letters....

2011-11-10T12:31:00.001-05:00

P-U-K-E

So much for breakfast eh? who says it's the most important meal of the day anyhow.

Yesterday I didn't have it in me to workout so yesterday was my rest day. Today I was back up and going and gungho. I did the mat workout in it's entirety, sweating profusely and feeling the burn. 10 minutes into the cardio workout, I lost my breakfast, several times over. Suffice it to say, I think Jillian would be so proud.

I was very shaky, so I sat down to get my bearings and ended up just showering and calling the workout complete. I'm not sure the first week of nutrient boost is enough calories to sustain her workout, or else maybe I need to eat a few more of the meals before attempting it.

Oh well that's okay...tomorrow is another day. Make some sort of exercise a part of your day everyday that's my new motto.

Gazpacho for Luncho! Olé

Day 3- I think I can, I think I can

2011-11-09T11:43:00.001-05:00

Day 3 of metamorphosis and Day 3 of the worst freaking headache ever. It seems to wane a bit sometimes, but is always sitting, nagging in the back of my head. I know it's just withdrawing from 10 lbs of Halloween candy that I've been noshing on for the last two months but still please go away.

So far so good. The nutritious boost week is tough. I'm not going to lie. My stomach is growling, and I do feel it a little hard to get through the workouts, I don't have the energy, but I'm sure it's only temporary. The first week is always the toughest.

I weighed in today and I'm down 5 lbs so that is the only motivation I need.

I will say this, Tracy Anderson's sweet potato and corn pudding has to be one of my new favorite recipes. I know, me? The woman that HATES vegetables and I'm in love with and I even don't hate the carrot/parsnip puree...who am I and what have I done with my candy loving self?

Okay, truth be told I still love candy. But the corn pudding gives me a little boost and then in the evening i have the chocolate pudding, which is thick and decadent and then I remember okay, you can do this. One day at a time.

Like AA but you know, I can still drink booze.

Day 1

2011-11-07T18:23:00.002-05:00

So in an effort to be 100% on track. I went through my entire freezer and fridge and dumped out everything I couldn't eat and that was terrible for me, I also photographed myself to capture the journey. The pictures are horrific and I almost vomited up my Power Juice after seeing them.

This morning I went grocery shopping and got all the stuff I needed for the Nutrient Boost week. I have been cooking all day and I'm really exhausted, but all my meals (except for the blueberry/applesauce) are made for the week.

I did the workout at 1:30 and I looked and felt completely ridiculous. Here is one truth, I have no rhythm, I thought I had rhythm but after doing this workout, I feel like I'm having an epileptic seizure to techno music. I'm already feeling sore 5 hours after the workout.

I have a raging sugar withdrawal headache and feel like I've been eating ALL DAY LONG!

Lets hope Day 2 goes a little better. I will update on Day 10 when I start a new transformation workout.

Metamorphosis

2011-11-02T17:06:00.003-04:00

Sooo in my continual attempts at ~~diminishing my ass~~ working out and getting healthier I have purchased the Metamorphosis program by Tracy Anderson.

It arrived in the mail last night. So I read the enclosed paperwork and popped in the DVD's today.

The food plan is no joke, and I am wondering how long I will be able to afford to purchase the produce as I am on unemployment currently, but we will see how it goes. The exercises on the other hand. Ummm how can I put this delicately...they are fucked. Okay that's what I thought when I first saw her doing this, WHAT? Is this chick crazy, I cannot do these moves.

Then I listened to what she said, she said do the best you can and really get into it like nobody is watching, well nobody is watching, except the creepy voyeur who peeks in my window, I will make an exception for him, because you know everyone needs one.

So I'm starting tomorrow to try out the moves, I am hoping a few days of trying out the moves, I'll be a little more acclimated to it when I "officially" start on Monday. Picture taking, measuring and weighing and all.

Wish me luck...I will be posting updates as I go through this process.

Gossipers

2011-10-25T09:12:00.003-04:00

Stop gossiping...Jessica Simpson isn't pregnant she just had a large lunch and is bloated...very bloated.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-20T18:53:00.003-04:00

So this week I've decided to bake a bunch o' goodies. I made these lovely witchy sandwich cookies, on the same idea of the valentine cookies I made back in February, but with orange butter cream frosting. The witches were a little bit more difficult due to the fact that some puffed up more than others, so it was difficult to match them up. Maybe next year I'll look for a pumpkin cookie cutter it will probably be easier to maintain.

Thanks again to the talented Decorated Cookie for sharing her amazing ideas and recipes (the butter cream is mine however *wink*). As always I made my cookies gluten free and they still come out fantastic!

Tomorrow I am making a gluten free Coconut Cake....tune in tomorrow to see if I was able to figure it out!

Time on my side

2011-10-18T22:43:00.000-04:00

Since I am currently amongst the ranks of the unemployed, I've been spending a lot of time (when not looking for new employment) looking for ways to save money and came across some awesome websites.

Ever want to know when you should throw items out of your fridge? Found this site www.stilltasty.com it put my mind at ease about getting botulism. Now I'm sure many of you have heard of some useful tips of vinegar, but did you know that there is a lovely organization devoted to the bitter stuff? Me neither. But here it is http://versatilevinegar.org/

If you are like me, I hate to try and clean my jewelry...mainly because I don't have much but I digress...it's a pain. I have one of those fancy sonic cleaners, but it still never seems to come out clean enough. Well found a tip from all you magazine. Take some old pantyhose (and all us women know they run within one use so I know you have them) put your jewelry inside, tie it off and then tie a piece to the inside of the dishwasher for your next cycle. Apparently it will get sparkly clean.

Want to ~~one-up~~ impress your friends, how about a little DIY projects? http://tipnut.com/ or prove you don't need a guy to do it for you (no not that kind of website) http://mrsfixit.com/

and for the grande finale...have you ever watched those extreme couponing shows and asked yourself "gosh I wish I had a basement so I can have my own lifetime supply of Pantene?" then here is the website for you www.couponmom.com be weird like me and sit and do the tutorials.

Even if you aren't a ~~loser~~ unemployed individual such as myself, why not save money and time when you can. Then you can spend your money where it's really necessary....

I am in love...

2011-10-10T14:17:00.000-04:00

With Hawaii. I cannot believe that I have never visited this beautiful state before. What an experience. We were at two islands. I really loved Maui. It's totally my speed, laid back. While downtown Honolulu isn't exactly my cup of tea (think Boston) where we stayed at Disney's new Aulani Resort it was paradise.

Everyone should visit Hawaii at least once.

Aloha

2011-10-08T12:57:00.001-04:00

I am back from the Aloha state...although I haven't gotten used to the time change, I'm going to bed at 2 am and waking up at 11:30...I really need to break this new habit, especially if I am going to find a new job.

The good news is, that I didn't gain any weight on vacation and not only did I not gain any weight I've lost weight since returning. Color me confused, but I'm not complaining, I'm pretty psyched.

So next week back onto the workout train, I am almost down a full twenty pounds. Another ten and I'm rewarding myself with a massage.

But I am here today to help vote for one of my favorite fitness blogger. Cranky Fitness. She's up for the "Best Fitness Blogger" from Shape Magazine (one of my favorite magazines) Vote for Cranky here http://tinyurl.com/668fyg3

Have a great week and I'll be back towards the end to let you know how I am doing getting back into working out!

Aloha!

2011-09-19T20:10:00.002-04:00

I will be temporarily out of service for the next week and 1/2 as I am going on a much needed vacation to Hawaii!

See you in October...

ALOHA

Paranoia, the destroyer

2011-09-18T12:24:00.000-04:00

Does this happen to anyone else?

You post something on facebook and about 2 mins later a friend will post something that vaguely seems like a dig on what you just posted?

For example: You post, I love my dog she gives me unconditional love
Your friend posts: I don't get people who claim love for their animals it makes no sense to me...have a kid and then we'll talk

Get your paws off my dumplings

2011-09-08T13:01:00.002-04:00

No this isn't some sexually explicit board game. This is my review of Feel Good Foods Chicken Dumplings.

Some of you know that I have given up gluten (mostly) about a year ago and what a huge difference it has made to my daily life in the form of no more stomach cramps and embarrassing run (and I do me run) to the bathroom. When I saw these advertised on facebook I had to make it my mission to find them.

That was a little bit bigger feat for myself. If you live nearby a Whole Foods then you are in luck, myself I do not. There were two locations in town that were listed on their website. I went to both last week and they didn't have them. I stopped in one of the stores on Sunday and they had the chicken ones, I snatched them up immediately. If you don't have any locations nearby, you can also purchase them at the Gluten Free Mall.

So onto the review. I was a little disappointed that I couldn't just microwave them (i.e. I am lazy) but I pulled out my nonstick pan and got to cooking. It wasn't that difficult but I was anxious to eat them. One suggestion I would make is to make sure to not put them touching each other on the plate, they will tend to stick to each other. I have read some other reviews of these as being gummy but I didn't find it to be the case at all.

They include a dipping sauce that you have to let warm at room temp. I felt these dumplings were fantastic. I think it will take me a couple more tries to perfect the cooking process but otherwise the taste was spot on. The chicken was delicious and the dipping sauce was as if I picked it up from the local Chinese restaurant.

I am definitely in love with this product and giving them five stars.
Now if we could only get Hannafords, Shaw's and Stop and Shop to carry them. I hope Feel Good Foods continues on making additional gluten free products that are as amazing as these.

Struggling

2011-09-07T23:39:00.000-04:00

I have been doing really well with eating right and trying to get in some type of exercise on a continuous basis, but this week has been a complete struggle. I have managed to get in my exercise, but the food is really challenging me and it shows on my scale, I was up 2, down 1 and today I just blew it again. This week seems to be a complete loss as far as my food. I am going to try and get back on track tomorrow, but I'm so mad at myself for blowing the great lead I had on my weight loss.

Is it Hot in Here?

2011-09-06T22:40:00.003-04:00

I have been hearing this commercial on the radio for months for this menopause product that is all natural and will help to regulate your hormones so you have less symptoms of menopause. So I decided to look into it. I am not currently going through menopause but I do have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which has a lot of the same symptoms and is also hormone related.

So I decided to give it a try. The cost was 100 dollars for a 3 month supply and according to the website, the average person going through menopause has to purchase only 2 times a year to help with their symptoms.

I did contact the lab directly to find out if it was safe to use for someone who isn't going through menopause and spoke to a doctor who advised me that they have people as young as 19 using the product, to help with the hormone issues that many young women experience (such as myself).

I got my package of pills, not difficult to use, you take one orange pill and one white pill everyday in the morning. After two weeks if you feel your symptoms aren't improving you can double the dose (4 pills a day). I do not have a problem taking pills, but I know my mother does...these pills are very small so I think even someone with a tough time could take them.

One of the major things with my PCOS is ovulation. There are months I ovulate, there are months I do not and it's never consistent. Within 1 month of taking the pills, I ovulated and started my period like clockwork. I slept better, I wasn't as "hot" as I usually was. It felt like a miracle to me, for the first time in years, I could look on a calendar and tell you when I was ovulating and when I was going to start my period.

Now I am not a doctor. So please consult with your physician if you are interested in taking it and this is only my personal experience with the product and obviously as the declaimer would go, everyone has different results. But I highly recommend giving it a shot especially if you are going through menopause and do not want to take synthetic hormones.

If you are interested in trying it out and get free shipping check out the website www.AmberenFriends.com and enter in code: 172508

Chocolate

2011-08-30T10:01:00.001-04:00

It's been one of those weeks. I could really use some chocolate.
But instead I am sitting here guzzling water and trying to be good. There are only 21 days left until I go to Hawaii and I am down 14 lbs so gotta keep the momentum going.

It's only 4 pounds

2011-08-01T21:47:00.002-04:00

Gaiam.com had a kettle bell workout on sale this past week and I've been looking for something new to motivate me back into working out. I got the workout this weekend, so I did the "instructional" CD on Sunday. It was hard. She only did a couple of reps to show you the move but I found myself sweating and breathing hard. Of course I am obscenely out of shape so climbing a flight of stairs might have the same effect but I digress. Today, my thighs, arms, back and chest were burning. So tonight I thought...what the hell and did the 20 minute toning workout. It was great! I love it.

Now you may wonder what the heck my title is all about. Well along with the DVDs that you workout with, it also comes with a 4 lb kettle bell. When it first arrived and I looked at this dinky little weight I thought "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" especially when just a short year ago I was doing weights of 15-20 lbs. So how was this little 4 lb weight that was the size of an orange going to make me sweat.

Well I was wrong. Dead wrong. It surprisingly was effective. So I give the kettlenetics a glowing review. I haven't even done the 40 min cardio burn workout yet. I may have to work up to that one but for the price to get the kettle bell and two workouts I am very pleased.

Mickey and Minnie are cute at Disney

2011-07-20T21:00:00.002-04:00

Last night I kept hearing the cat making all these weird noises upstairs, this from a cat who is mute. So I go upstairs and she's sitting in the bathroom staring at the washer and dryer. Ummm...I had a slight inclination that she was watching something that I probably didn't want to know about.

Sure enough I am sitting watching a movie tonight and she's running around, so I call her downstairs and she comes and I'm kind of looking around to see if there is anything with her, I don't see anything and I walk back in the living room and she's holding vigil over a mouse. No blood just petrified to death. Poor little guy. I throw him outside, thank my little mouse catcher and prepare to shop for some peppermint oil. *sigh*

2011 has been a rough year....

Oh and if you are wondering why I am buying peppermint oil, it's not to make the mouse smell minty fresh...it's because they do not like the scent, so if you soak cotton balls and leave them in areas you think they could be getting in...they will leave.

I'm praying this was one mouse in the house and not an epidemic...because ick!

The Sky is Falling...The Sky is Falling

2011-07-17T11:04:00.003-04:00

What seems like 100 years ago now, I was in the process of a divorce and feeling as low as a human being could probably feel. My ex was having an affair, with a woman 15 years older than us, with 5 kids and living on welfare. The blow to the ego on that one was pretty bad. I had to start counseling as I felt nobody would ever love me again, etc and so forth. I was a sad sack. But consistently going to counseling, learning to work through the irrational thoughts that occupied my brain and coming out on the other side, with amazing resolve and a new found love of myself.

Recently I have been a "shoulder to cry on" for a friend of mine who has been complaining about her marriage for 7 years. Finally finding the strength to file for divorce and have her husband served. EVERY-SINGLE-DAY she's throwing herself a pity party...EVERY-SINGLE-DAY she is making herself a martyr by claiming she should stay to make everyone else happy (her family)...EVERY-SINGLE-DAY she is irrational and illogical.

I am trying my best to be supportive. But I am at my wits end. Prime example, yesterday she found herself with nothing to do, so she called some people and none of them could get together, they all had plans. Her logic is they have all rejected her, that they all said no and nobody invited her to do their plans with them, so of course nobody loves her and why is she divorcing her husband, because when she was married to him, she was always busy on the weekends with friends/family and now she's lonely.

I know I probably sound like a complete bitch but I can't take it anymore. I've been listening to her complain about how miserable she is in her marriage for 7 years. For 7 years, she's wanted out, but has stayed because of fear of being perceived as the bad guy with her family, plus she has a child and didn't want to disrupt the family. Her marriage is terrible, despite her trying to cling to the ounce or two of good times, her marriage is awful. They shouldn't have ever married but whatever...the back and forth business is ridiculous and I can't even stand to listen to it anymore. I keep telling her she needs to see her therapist more often. She is seeing him maybe at best once a month. During the week she's pretty strong but the weekend comes and she's a blubbering mess, crying, throwing herself at her husband, having emotional breakdowns. She won't take medicine despite being clearly depressed.

I can't help her anymore. I try to reason with her, showing her that the language she is using is self deprecating and illogical to the actual situation. But all she wants to do is throw herself a pity party. I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!

How much are friends suppose to take? I feel like a heel but I just cannot take it much longer. I know that the first 4 months after my divorce, I was probably the same way, but then I really just left it all for my therapist and tried to move on. And maybe if I haven't been listening to this same "logic" for 7 years I wouldn't feel so exhausted by it, but I do. When is my obligation to be there up? I feel obligated to listen but it's the same thing every day, just said differently. I was hoping once she finally filed she would be steadfast and move forward, but it's only made it worse.

Something about...

2011-06-18T19:59:00.000-04:00

A visit from friends that makes everything else that is shitty in your life to just fade away.

Had a great day with my friend who came up to visit...the weather was beautiful, she brought with her the most amazing cheeses I've eaten and we killed a bottle of Cinzano. Laughs and great conversations...what more can one want.

Why is it so difficult for me to be social? When I actually am social, it always feels great, I always feel like I had so much fun and wish I did it more. But to get me there it is such an internal struggle.

I am starting to think that it has to do with how I feel about myself right now. The weight is really challenging me and I think part of my inability to want to get together with people is not exactly liking the way I look right now. But in the last few weeks, I've stepped out of the comfort of my nice house and gone to my cousins for the Bruins game and had so much fun.

I'm such a social person and yet...feel so stunted right now in the social aspect of my life.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!

2011-06-15T23:08:00.000-04:00

It was the water...I'm just sayin...and my favorite redhead...Tim Thomas

I bet it tastes like chicken

2011-06-11T22:05:00.002-04:00

Just sayin...he was offside

2011-06-02T05:56:00.000-04:00

Broken Record...

2011-05-29T10:51:00.000-04:00

I know I sound like a broken record at times...continually refocusing my energies on trying to lose weight and take up exercising consistently again. If you knew all the bullshit going on right now, you'd wonder why I wasn't eating a cake at every turn. But I digress...I am trying to refocus.

I went grocery shopping yesterday thanks to my mother throwing me some cash to do so. Yes 38 years old and my mom still has to throw me some money for real groceries so I don't just eat macaroni for weeks and weeks. I'm so poor. But that's another story.

Starting back up with a daily email/spreadsheet of our efforts with my friend. Wait until she sees how much weight I've gained, OY!

Getting up at 4 am is just not an option to do my workouts, I get barely enough sleep as it is. How do I beat the evening exhaustion after getting up at 5 am and commuting 2 hours a day, how to not just sit on the couch and veg for a couple hours? How do you force yourself when you really want to just sleep?

HELP!

Cooking Tip of the Day

2011-05-15T19:04:00.000-04:00

I love finding recipes that incorporate chipoltes in adobo sauce. Yummy. The thing is they only ever require 2-3 peppers and a bit of the sauce, and while the can isn't huge, you are left with chipolte peppers that go to waste unless you feel like eating something with chipoltes everyday of the week.

Solution found. Freeze the remaining chipolte peppers, then when you want to add a little spice to some eggs or a sauce, just take the frozen chilies out of the freezer and using a zester take a little off. No mess and no waste.

Spice it up friends!

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T09:32:00.002-04:00

But especially to my favorite mom in the whole wide world...mine

2011-05-02T22:11:00.002-04:00

2011-04-21T20:38:00.000-04:00

At least now there is a clear delineation

2011-04-19T18:42:00.001-04:00

Anyone Brazil their Butt?

2011-04-17T11:16:00.001-04:00

Well besides ~~that freak-of-nature~~ the beautiful Gisele Bündchen who has a natural Brazilian set of buttocks. I was wondering if anyone has tried Beachbody's Brazil Butt Lift?

I am a big support of Debbie Sieber's Slim in 6 program from Beachbody, it is my go-to workout and the program I used to lose over 30 lbs a few years ago, yes prior to going to a gym and promptly gaining all the weight back plus an additional 20 lbs. So I'm back to working out with Slim in 6 but I was contemplating purchasing it as just some new moves and to make sure things don't get monotonous.

If you haven't tried it but you do other things, please share them here. I would love to hear how you stay in shape? What are your tricks? and do you have a go-to exercise or tape that helps you every time. I just read some about fitbit anyone used this? It seems very similar to the bodybugg...but a lot cheaper. Would love to hear any personal experiences with this.

Just Do It!

2011-04-10T18:39:00.000-04:00

Things have been going pretty badly. I will not bore you with the details but one thing that is going well is getting back on track with my health. I have been trying very hard not to snack during the day and if I do, to snack on healthy foods.

I am down 4.5 lbs so I'm very encouraged by this. Exercise has been challenging but I am trying. That's all I can really do right now. Mondays and Fridays I have been using the treadmill, Tuesday, Thursday and the weekend my Slim in 6 DVDs. The last few weeks have been very busy after work, so I haven't managed to workout as much as planned, but I feel confident that I am heading in the right direction.

What are some tips that keep you on track? Please share. I need all the help I can get right now.

Spring is finally here in NH...walking outside is on the agenda again!

I hate you General Hospital

2011-03-28T20:59:00.000-04:00

Yes...it's a soap...yes I'm irrational

The Great Cleanup 2011

2011-03-13T15:40:00.000-04:00

As I've previously eluded too. I am all about donating and organizing spaces this year. Two weeks ago my lovely friend Wendie gave up her Saturday and came up to help me finalize my spare bedroom. When I bought the house last year, all my "stuff" went into the spare room. Through the months, my mother and I went in and organized, and donated but there was still some left to do, not that much, but enough that when I went in the room, I would get completely overwhelmed.

So the day was disorganized to say the least from the start. She arrived at 9, only to have me inform her at 10 we would have to leave the parking lot due to a snowstorm we had the night before and the plow people would come by. So we visited for an hour and then took off to Lowes while the plow people came. We strolled through Lowes looking at lighting, carpeting, bathroom fixtures. We were mistaken for a lesbian couple by the carpeting guy, but neither of us corrected him and just giggled about it in the lighting section.

Bedroom Closet

We arrive back to my place at 11 and the plow guy was towing cars and still hadn't done our section...with a groan we took off and had lunch. It was great catching up, we hadn't seen each other in a long time.

Cupboard

When we arrived back to my place...how shall I say this? It was ON like DONKEY KONG! We started with my bedroom closet, which had become a catchall for things that still didn't have a place. We took everything out and ransacked. We had a garbage bag for garbage, and a donation pile set up. I tried donating some of my exercise tee shirts, but she informed me, that poor people don't need bad tee shirts. *dagger to heart*

Spare Room

Once done the closet, I realized I needed to go shopping as I have no clothing. HA! Onwards and upwards we tackled the spare room, and we tackled well. The room looks amazing and is finally able to be functional as an office area.

Donation Pile on Right

My weary friend left at about 8pm...ready to bake a cake for her daughters birthday party the next day. Big thanks to Wendie for helping me, organizing is so fun with a friend.

Spare Room Closet

Today with the backyard fairly dry, I was able to finally take my tree down. Yes I realize it's March, but with mother nature dumping over a foot a snow, once to twice a week for a few months, left me with a snow pile up to the doorknob of my shed which housed everything for the tree. Finally today I took it down and put everything back to normal.

Living Room Back to Normal

Tree is gone

Feels fantastic. I have even more stuff to donate and I feel liberated from "stuff".

Bring on Spring!

Er?

2011-02-21T21:02:00.000-05:00

So do you think I haven't gotten any jobs because my resume had a misspelling in it?

DOH!

Donation Month!

2011-02-19T10:23:00.000-05:00

I am all about getting rid of clutter right now. Last weekend I went through all my closets and drawers and donated, pretty much everything. If it didn't fit me, was so old it would be out of fashion or just plain not my style anymore, I donated it to the Goodwill. I got rid of the baby stuff I've been holding onto for the last 9 years in the hopes I would have a baby. I figured someone could use it now and dammit if I ever do have a baby, she/he can get new stuff!

Today I was going to donate all my towels to the Manchester Animal Shelter, and other household items (blenders etc.) to Goodwill but I woke up feeling a little oogy so I've been rerouted to the couch, with homemade chicken soup and some oscillo in the hopes of knocking this shit out.

So in honor of the Chinese New Year and cleaning house to rid you of bad luck. What can you get rid of in your house? What is cluttering up your attic that you aren't displaying? Do you have items that you have from your grandmother and mother that you can't part with? If so how about displaying a few pieces and donating the rest. If you have emotional attachments to items from family/friends I would highly recommend Peter Walsh's book It's All Too Much. A fantastic resource for learning how to detach from objects.

Happy Chinese New Year! and get donating...you'll thank me afterward and next year during tax time!

Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-13T17:16:00.000-05:00

If you know me, you know I'm not Susie Homemaker. I'm more of a box and canned frosting kind of gal. But for some reason I got a little domestic this weekend. I took a trip up to Eatons Cake and Candy Supply Store and picked up a few supplies. I wanted to try out a butter cream frosting recipe so I decided, I'll make cupcakes that way I can bring them to work on Valentines day and not have 24 cupcakes to consume myself. Which as we all know, I do not need 24 cupcakes. EVER!

This morning I went over to my grandmother's to use her Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I can't tell you how jealous I am of anyone who owns one, it would make my life much easier. The frosting came out great, it's sweet but not overwhelmingly.

I got home and set up the cupcake decorating station. I have a whole new appreciation for people who decorate cakes, because I had a hard time with the pastry bags and tips...what a mess and didn't look at all pretty. Towards the end I got the hang of it a little better. But now I am really interested in taking the classes, so I don't embarrass myself further.

Cupcakes

Ignore the bad decorations

Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

My Valentine

I had so much frosting left I decided to use the rest in chocolate sandwich cookies, that I had got the recipe from this great blog called The Decorated Cookie, thank you so much for this simple recipe. My cookies are also gluten free as I only had gluten free all purpose flour.

The cookies came out beautiful, I can hardly believe I did them myself. Anyone want great ideas please check out the blog.

So Happy Valentines Day!

New Year...New Look

2011-02-02T10:34:00.001-05:00

So today I decided to change the background on my blog...it's not exactly what I want, but it will do for now, a little more cheery and a brighter outlook for the new year.Okay I had to nix the pink it looked like Pepto Bismal. Green is more my speed.

I keep repeating the mantra 2011 is going to be MY YEAR! I figure if I repeat it enough it will happen.

You want it...you got it!

2011-02-02T06:25:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those ~~days~~ lifetimes where you just wanted to say "I give up"? Now nobodies talking suicide here so lets not take out the prescription pads to offer me copious amounts of Prozac or Zoloft.

I'm just talking good old fashioned, can I trade in this path I seem to be on for a better one, maybe just for a little while. I know there are people out there that have it worse than me, there are people starving and homeless, some being abused, etc. but that doesn't negate my feelings in the least and fuck it, it's my blog and I can regurgitate my feelings if I want too.

Getting up every day at 5 am, home by 6pm (on a good traffic day). Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Nothing exciting? Nothing that many other people do everyday. But I NEED SOME FUCKEN EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE. I'm only 37 and I feel as if I'm 92. Next I'll be taking water aerobics and silver sneakers with my 80 year old grandmother.

I want a date once in awhile, I want to get laid, I want someone to glance my way and think I'm adorable passing me in the library or on the street. I want to be able to commute 5 mins from my house to a job that inspires me and doesn't make me want to hurl myself off a bridge having to get up for it everyday. I want SOMETHING to inspire me. I feel like the walking dead right now.

I don't like to be a burden, I don't like to burden people with my issues or problems, I tend to be a sounding board for other people which I know seems totally inconceivable after reading my selfish tirade here but it's true, I think I'm a people pleaser to a fault. Everyday I talk to a couple friends at work (people who work at my company for those I talk too regularly when I am at work this isn't about you), and I realized, we ask each other about our weekends, we each list out what we did, and then this one person just takes over the entire conversation and from that moment forward for the rest of the day, it's all about them. I participate, minimally interjecting points but I feel like there isn't really a conversation it's really just them talking about themselves and me popping in. I've started pulling back from those emails, they have noticed, but I just say I'm really busy, which I am so it's not a total lie.

I could go on with other scenarios that are playing out as well, all kind of similar. Sometimes I want to scream "CAN YOU LISTEN TO ME NOW???" and I don't because I don't want to be selfish but at the same time I feel like I'm going to explode.

So I'm going to tell you here. This way it's out and I can unburden myself.

I'm lonely. ~ I don't care if you don't need a man to fulfill your life, I don't care if you are happily married and it took you 35 years to meet him, I don't care if you are wicked happy being single. I AM LONELY! I have a great family, I have nice friends that I love and adore. But I'm lonely. I want to have a relationship, and it's okay for me to say that. I'm not some desperate woman because I want someone to love me. I work everyday, I have a house that I pay for (even if I'm broke paying for it.) I don't need a man to take care of me. But I want someone to love me and you know what it's OK for me to say that. If I've offended all you feminists out there. Well too bad. I saw my mom's aunt die in her 60's from brain cancer, a very successful woman who was very loved by friends and family, die and there was always a sadness in her eyes that she didn't have someone to love her and share her life with her. What she a happy person, yes but there was always that missing piece, she never had kids, or ever married. She took care of my grandmother until she died and then a great aunt until she fell ill with cancer. I feel like I'm walking the same path and I want differently. No I don't need online dating advice, been there got the tee shirt, glad it worked for your cousins best friend but it's not the right avenue for me and what about all you people out there with your great "It will happen when you least expect it" advice...there you go, I am here to tell you. I definitely don't expect it.

I am miserable at my job~ Not so much the job but my commute. (and yes I have been vigorously trying to find something else). Getting up and driving to work in the dark, and going home from work in the dark is depressing. I used to work out everyday, now I have no motivation to do so. There is a local office 10 mins from my house, that they refuse to let me work from. They moved everyone to another area of the office, I drive in everyday to sit alone in a cubicle, nobody near me, none of my supervisors in the office, I am sure many people would love that idea but I'm a very social person, to be isolated like I am at work really does nothing for my morale.

My Weight. Eh. I think it's self explanatory. I'd rather not discuss.

The good news is I'm not about to jump off a bridge. The good news is, I will get up tomorrow (today I'm staying in due to the snow) and put on my big girl panties and go back to work, (and just die more inside) and come home to do it all over again the next day.

LATHER...RINSE...REPEAT

In the immortal words...

2011-01-17T20:20:00.001-05:00

In the immortal words of Johnny Paycheck...TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!

Christmas with The Kranks

2010-12-27T08:59:00.000-05:00

I had to mark this day down so it's forever marked in history. Christmas Day went off without anyone bickering, arguing or sniping at one another. It truly was a Christmas miracle.

I decided to host since it's my first year in the new house. Appetizers at 11, mimosas with ham/pub cheese/spinach wrapped in crescent roll sliced into pinwheels and pesto/Gorgonzola/sun dried tomato tarts....opening of presents. We bought mom a kindle...look how excited she is...like a little kid.

OMG!

Kindle

Then we popped in Elf and watched that. Love that movie, Will Farrell played vulnerable and childlike so well.

Spinach strawberry and almond salad with balsamic dressing next with Parmesan/Herb Garlic with olive oil dipping for Bread.

Dinner was next with Lasagna. The lasagna was amazing and then settled in for The Santa Clause. Finishing off the day with some Tiramisu.
I went with an Italian theme this year. My parents left around 5:30ish and I just sat on the couch stuffed to the gills.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, whether or not you celebrate Christmas. A dear friend's mom died this year on Christmas, it was her favorite holiday.
We lost a beautiful, caring and giving woman this year that gave to her community more than her community ever could return. Here's hoping she had a safe journey home.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2011! God Bless

Thanksgiving with Me, Myself...I and my Kitty Molly

2010-11-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

I decided this year to forgo the ~~spastic~~ fun family festivities and just have Thanksgiving home alone. While this decision drew the normal gasps of "Why didn't you call me?" "You could have had Thanksgiving with me" etc. I stayed the course and had a great day. I wonder what it is about the holidays that when someone spends it alone, we think something is wrong? Honestly I have been working a lot and just the thought of spending the day in my pj's sounded heavenly.

I picked up all the fixings and a rotisserie turkey breast. I had a schedule, Thursday I would do all the Christmas cards, Friday put up the tree and the lights, Saturday decorate the house and the tree.

Soooo as usual my plan didn't go as scheduled. I ended up on Thursday putting together a bookcase, Friday I did all my Christmas cards, and today I decorated the house and did the entire tree.

What a wonderful holiday weekend, I got a ton of stuff accomplished and it was really great to get some much needed rest. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend.

Energy? What Energy?

2010-11-07T12:59:00.000-05:00

When I am at work, it does not fail at some point during the day, I am literally falling asleep at my desk. Now it's very warm in there and I feel like it is a huge factor in my lethargy due to leaving for the day and declaring I am going to take a nap when I get home and hitting the fresh air and feeling much better.

I have really been struggling with getting back into exercise, I wake up so early right now as it is to commute to work that afternoon is the only time at all I can squeeze in some exercise and yet everyday, I feel so tired and want to just sit on the couch. How do I break out of this?

Any suggestions on what to do? I don't drink coffee or caffeine, so that is really not an option....I drink tons of water so I am definitely not lacking in that department. I feel like I'm in this foggy funk that I can't get out of. HELP!

A New Adventure...okay 2

2010-10-09T08:30:00.001-04:00

Adventure 1: So as you know last spring I entered into Homeowners land with the purchase of my first home. I also am now what they call "house poor". *sigh* the economy is pretty bad and any part-time evening jobs currently are unavailable. So I signed up 2 weeks ago to start selling Pampered Chef. I know *rolls eyes* but I love the product and all I really need is about 3-400 extra a month that I used to pull in with overtime that is now being eaten up with household expenses or having to put on 4 new tires due to such a long commute. I've already booked 5 parties in my first month. So I'm confident I can probably reach my monetary goals. I'm pretty excited about it. If you know anyone in the New England area that would like to have a party let me know.

Adventure 2: My mother and I embarked back on to the South Beach diet this week. Now that everything is pretty much calm with the house I can focus back on me and not stress eating. So we started on Tuesday and I can report I'm down 5.5 lbs. I actually was really good about finishing up my first week. I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally see my scale go down again. Next week will be my venture back into working out as well. Slim in 6 where have you been hiding? HA!

Hope you all have a great week!

Dishes Dishes Everywhere

2010-10-04T12:09:00.001-04:00

I purchased my first house (oh okay it's a townhouse) in January, I moved in at the end of February after some renovations. It's taken me this long to have a housewarming party. I am pretty anal retentive and I wanted things to be hung on the walls, and stuff in it's place. Despite still not having the spare room up to snuff I decided to go ahead with a housewarming on Sunday.

I have a pretty big family, my dad is one of 5 and one of my uncles has 5 kids. So needless to say lots of cousins, who have kids etc. I was previously married but I eloped so there was never a bridal shower or wedding to share with the people I love. After my divorce, I went through a pretty difficult financial time due to shared debt that I had to take on as my own. Finally after almost 10 years I have everything paid off. After the housing market fell, it was my only shot to actually get a place of my own. I am really proud of myself, as a single person with a pretty meager salary to buy a place of my own finally is a huge deal for me. I'm proud of myself, as silly as that sounds. I made it through a divorce, putting myself back through college, substantial debt that I paid my way out of and finally a home of my own.

I was pretty excited to have my party...for weeks I scoured recipe sites to find some new appetizers that wouldn't require forks and knives and that were new and different from what I had made in the past or have had at other family parties. I picked out a nice invitation (yep paper...old school!) and sent out invitations to all my relatives and some very close friends. Asking them to RSVP a week before the party so I would have a head count for the party.

Here comes my rant...you knew the buildup was for something after all. The majority of my friends RSVP'd right away. Most were coming. My cousin RSVP'd and said her and her husband were coming and my aunt, RSVP'd to say they were not able to come. From that point forward, no other relatives RSVP'd. Remember, family of 5, with huge extended family. Two of my cousins RSVP'd two days prior to the party to say they weren't able to make it, and several others just didn't bother to respond at all. In all I had my parents, my grandmother, one aunt/uncle and two of my cousins in attendance. Needless to say I was pretty offended.

For years, I've gone to bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, birthday parties for kids. Sometimes being the only side of our family TOO attend and represent that side of the family. The one thing I have that I am very excited to share with my family, and my family is absent. This speaks volumes to me. I realize now that the people that really care about me were there yesterday and I will think twice about attending future events at some of my families homes.

The housewarming party was a huge success. The food turned out great, even with some snafu's. People mingled, laughed and smiles were all around which is all I really wanted. For the people I loved to celebrate my new home with me.

One thing that was left to do was the dishes....wow....dishes are everywhere. Thank god I took the day off, it may take me all day to do them all.

Easy and Fabulous Appetizer

2010-09-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

So although I've lived in my condo since the end of February, I am just now finally getting around to my housewarming party this coming Sunday, October 3rd. So I wanted to share one of my favorite appetizer recipes with everyone. I'm not making it for the housewarming, but I have made them in the past and they are a huge hit with almost everyone. Even my aunt who doesn't like spicy foods at all, liked them. So enjoy my little treat from me to you!

Lazy Man's Jalapeno Poppers

Ingredients:

1 package of wonton wrappers (found in the tofu section in produce)

1 jar of jalapenos (tamed or regular depending on how hot you like em, they are in the pickle section or you could do both and have a hot and medium section)

1 jar of Hormel Real Bacon Bits

1 tub of whipped cream cheese

1 bottle of Thai Kitchen sweet red Chile sauce (Asian section)

Vegetable/canola oil for cooking

I usually wrap them the night before as this is the longest part but it usually goes pretty quick once you get the hang of it.

Mix 1 tub of Cream cheese, with about 1/4-1/3 cup of jalapeños chopped up in a magic bullet/chopper. Taste the mixture to get the spiciness you can add more jalapeños to desired spice. Add in about 3 TBS of bacon bits, again adding more for how you like the taste.

Take a small dollop of cream cheese mixture and put inside wonton wrapper and wrap according to the directions on the package.

After all wontons are wrapped and about the time your guests are arriving, shallow fry them in a pan with oil just enough oil in the pan to cover the wontons, pull out with slotted spoon when they are a nice golden brown. Serve with sweet red Chile sauce.

Volunteering

2010-09-15T17:21:00.000-04:00

I know many of you probably like myself like to help their community. Donating money whenever you can to good causes. Today I went with 10 girls from work and volunteered our time and painting the exterior wall at the Boys and Girls Club in Lynn, MA. Their mission: "To inspire and enable all young people, especially those from disadvantaged circumstances, to realize their full potential as productive responsible and caring citizens." This mission along with the really thoughtful people who worked there really inspired me. The stories they told at lunch really made me think I don't do enough. Even with everything I do, I don't do enough. Today was a fabulous day, laughing, getting paint all over me, painting this building and just truly feeling appreciated for the hard work.

I am hoping to look into volunteering at my own local place to help the kids. I hope all of you will get a chance to do some volunteering and be inspired too.

Have a great Wednesday!

Showers

2010-08-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

So I will confess it now, the only showers I like are rain showers and showers in my bathroom. Baby and Bridal showers can just go to the wayside forever for as far as I am concerned. I am not sure who thought up this ~~torture~~ lovely ritual but I would like to meet them so I can smack the crap out of them.

Guys, they get to go out for their bachelor parties, drink until they puke, get lap dances from strippers and eat fattening food. Us women, we get the pleasure of sitting around for HOURS on end watching someone open gifts and ooh and ahhh as if the toaster or onesie someone gets is the most spectacular thing they have ever seen in their life.

Am I the only heartless wench that feels this way? Can't the bridal and baby showers be more fun? Can't we have a big party and not sit around and watch gift opening, can't the gifts be designated not wrapped and just be on a big table for all to ogle and then the bride/baby mama write her thank you notes later. Why the torture? Isn't pushing a human being the size of a watermelon out of our vagina's torture enough?

Can you tell I have to go to a shower tomorrow? But I go because I absolutely love my friend, the little mama to be. So I will paste on my smile and enjoy myself.

Road Tripping

2010-07-26T19:06:00.000-04:00

So I have been really spending a lot of time by the pool this summer and absolutely no time blogging. This has been one of the greatest spring and summer New England has seen in a long time and I am fully taking advantage of it.

Last weekend a friend of mine dropped her son off in Michigan to spend the week with her aunt. She had to go back this week to meet them, so she asked me to tag along. We had a giggly good time driving out to Hamburg, NY Friday night. Saturday morning we got up and went into Canada since I have never been (Unless you count me being conceived there) and I wanted to see the Falls, it was a particularly muggilicious day so walking under the mist of the falls was very refreshing, as was the two quite fetching Border Patrol agents.

We met her son and aunt in the afternoon and headed back to MA. It was a short and LONG trip but fun nonetheless. There is just something about having a girls weekend to renew a friendship. What do you do to keep your friendships alive even if you are married and have kids?

So back to trying to eat right, I made a delicious low fat chicken/Waldorf style salad with apples, pecans, craisins, chicken and a mix of Greek yogurt and a little mayo. DELICIOUS!
I am really getting refocused starting this week. I will check back in a week and let you all know how I am doing.

Have a great week!

Welcome to the Real World

2010-07-06T20:59:00.000-04:00

Poor LiLo I'd like to say I feel bad for her but I just do not. If any normal person got in all the car accidents she has, we would definitely not get a lenient judge. It's time celebrities are held to the same standard.

Have fun in jail!

Weird Phenomenon

2010-06-28T18:50:00.001-04:00

I've noticed a weird phenomenon in TV shows.

All of a sudden all these reality shows about people with mental illnesses. What I have to wonder is what is wrong with those of us in society that are being voyeurs in these peoples lives??

Hoarders, Obsessed, The OCD Project, Intervention, Sober House etc and so forth.

What are your thoughts on this?

Reality Smackdown

2010-06-21T22:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was father's day. I had a great day with my parents, sat by the pool, laughed, had good food. It was a good day.

Today my father was admitted into the hospital. He has been complaining about breathing issues, any small amount of exertion (walking up the stairs) his lungs burn as if he just ran a mile and really worked out hard. So he spoke to his doctor and they insisted he go straight to the hospital. He just called and the doctor thinks he had a small heart attack.

My dad is the age that my paternal grandfather died of cancer. It's a little scary to think about my father at his current age dying. I think of all the love and support he and my mother have given me throughout the years and it's frightening.

Send positive thoughts that everything turns out okay.

Hi Neighbor

2010-06-16T17:44:00.001-04:00

I know you have 3 adults illegally living in a 2 bedroom condo that strictly says in the condo association guidelines that there should be no more than 2 adults living in one 2 bedroom condo. So here's my suggestion you might want to stay the FUCK out of my parking space since I wouldn't want your brother or girlfriend to suddenly have to move out because the condo board found out they are both living there.

Mmmmmkay? Thanks

New Addition to the Family!

2010-06-14T20:26:00.000-04:00

No Home is complete without a companion and since I don't have a man and I can't get a dog I decided to adopt a cat.

I know how awesome pure breds are but there is something so special about going to a shelter and adopting a baby that just didn't have a home. She's so special. Her name is Molly, she is only a year old. She was born in a barn and someone found her and brought her into the Animal Rescue League. Someone adopted her, but because she was timid (mind you the family had kids and a dog) they brought her back to the Animal Rescue League after 9 months. When I saw her precious face and that sad little look in her eye, I knew she was the one for me.

I have no kids, no dogs and not a lot of traffic in my home so I thought I would be the perfect person and she seems to agree. She was timid at first, the first day she stayed upstairs hiding under the bed for a good 6 hours, but then she mosied down and spent some quality time with me and now she's a little lovebug. I can't ever imagine bringing her back.

Bakery on Main

2010-05-17T05:45:00.002-04:00

I have a really tough time with breakfast...there are not a lot of cereals I like and that can hold me for the majority of the day. All the things I do like are terrible for you and I get up so damn early in the morning to get to work that I have no time to make eggs or anything with protein.
So when I saw this granola I thought I would give it a shot in some Yogurt. It's pretty pricey at 6.49 a bag but soooo worth it. I love it, throw some of this into some plain nonfat yogurt and I was full until lunchtime. There are three varieties that I can find at my grocery store but apparently there are actually five that they make. Gluten Free Extreme Fruit and Nut (which is what I have eaten and is delicious), Gluten Free Nutty Maple Cranberry, Gluten Free Apple Raisin Walnut, Gluten Free Rain forest Granola and Gluten Free Cranberry Orange Cashew (Which I just purchased yesterday and am excited to try).

Now I'd like to compliment all of Bakery on Mains products, but their Granola Bars leave something to be desired. I purchased the peanut butter and chocolate chip ones and while not terrible they are break your teeth hard. They need a different recipe or something because I don't like risking my nice teeth for sustenance.

If anyone else has some great tips for quick healthy breakfasts please let me know.

Ma...mama...mom...maaaa

2010-05-09T11:18:00.000-04:00

My mother...what can I say she drives me crazy in a way no other person in my life could. I've been to many mediums/tarot card readers/psychics and they all the say the same thing. I have lived many lifetimes with my mother. I BELIEVE IT!

But my mother is amazing. She has always worked 2-3 jobs when I was growing up as well as going to school to start an entirely different career when I was in high school. She's fiercely loyal to the people she loves and despite us bickering like an old married couple we love each other like no other. I am the epitome of my mother, we are on the same wavelength most of the time. She taught me so much in my life, how to be a good person, how to care about the people around me, have a good work ethic, love, and know when to say I'm sorry and I was wrong.

So today I am celebrating the loving, infuriating and most caring woman I know. My mom. Love you Baklava

My new home~ Kitchen

2010-04-24T18:55:00.000-04:00

Below is the transformation of the kitchen in my new home.

Day One Old Kitchen

Old Cabinets


Old Kitchen Linoleum


Removed Old Linoleum


Painting Party...Yellow Walls

Almost done with Walls

Now to Paint the old Cabinets

Yes it's a crockpot..I COOK TOO!

New Red Oak Wood Floors

Beautiful Floors

Finished Kitchen

Cabinets look totally different

Quick Alternative until I can afford to replace

View from Living Room

The Dust is Settling

2010-04-03T10:32:00.000-04:00

I have been MIA for awhile. Work doesn't allow me on the Internet, so it's hard to find time when I get home to blog. I have so much to share. I bought a townhouse and for the month of February I was renovating it. March I moved in and I'm still unpacking, I feel like I may never get fully unpacked and I'm determined to just throw everything away and start fresh if and when I ever move again. I feel like that would be easier than trying to determine where pictures on the wall will go and how to coordinate everything.

Things are going well with that, work is still a nightmare and would love to get out desperately but there is nothing around so I just have to stick it out.

The stress of the move has put my fitness and weight loss program not only on the back burner but my body is a disaster because of it. So Monday it's back onto South Beach and a daily exercise routine. Although I cannot share my weight because I'm much too embarrassed to do that, I will try and update at least once a week how things are going in that department.

The next few posts I will share some pictures of the transformation of the property. Thanks all my 9 readers for waiting patiently.

A Slight Hiatus

2010-02-15T18:47:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been busy, renovating my new home that I closed on at the end of January. I should be moving in next weekend. Once I am settled I'll be back to update you and post some pictures and then should be back on a regular basis so that my 8 readers are well informed.

See you soon!

Fashion Waits for Nobody

2010-02-05T02:10:00.000-05:00

I was flipping through a catalog recently and I came across this "outfit" and thought...I am so unfashionable if THIS is what qualifies as fashion these days. Who knew the bedazzler could make so much in one outfit.

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes

2009-12-16T20:01:00.000-05:00

On my commute into work this morning. I glanced over to the car to my left and there was a young man driving the car and a young woman in the passenger's seat and I shit you not...she had a beehive. Not a beehive that has honey in it and has bees swarming around....Like an honest to God Edna Turnblad Beehive.

When the 70's came back with their bellbottoms and peasant tops I didn't much complain. I waned quite a bit when the 80's came back with the leggings and big sweaters...but if the Beehive is on it's way back. LOOK OUT!

I'm still alive

2009-12-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

I apologize for my lack of posting lately. Things can we just say haven't been going good and I have not felt good. Work is irritating me, I've worked for the same company for 7 1/2 years, stellar reviews, never a complaint, in fact my reputation proceeds me wherever I go and people I don't even know will introduce themselves to me when I am in their neck of the woods saying how they have heard how great I am. (at my job not really in any other aspect of anything resembling a social life) but I digress...this wasn't a post to boast about how I am the cat's meow. Quite the contrary. After spending 3 days in the hospital writhing from Pancreatitis I got kind of a cold welcome back from the job. I was informed I only have 8 more vacation days as if I was some how wooping it up in Las Vegas for 3 days rather than laying on my back in a room with the moaning roommate next to me. Yes it was just like Vegas. Two days after that cold reception, I got pulled in the office for them to tell me that they noticed I have been on the internet for personal use and it's strictly prohibited. Are you telling me in 7 1/2 years they have never checked my internet usage? Ummm yeah right. After the basic chastizing even though I'm betting Ms. HR herself bought her lovely teeth whitener online while on her lunchbreak I apparently am now on the company hitlist. I am pretty sure that they know every aspect of what I did for the last 7 1/2 years. But I also know they were irritated I was out for 3 days in a row, since they can't very well fire me for being laid up in the hospital I guess basically bagging me for something everyone does even ms. blinding teeth herself.

So needless to say, things have been tense. Finding a house has been equally annoying. I put in one offer on a condo, which the woman rejected for 2k. Fine, I find another condo but the owners ripped up the carpeting so FHA won't let me in unless I get a 5k rehab loan to do the floors which puts me too high to pay. Then I found the most beautiful condo on Thursday, FHA won't let me in at all. Not sure why and quite frankly I don't care. This whole process is ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING me.

Major blowups within my extended family, cousins and arguing and banishing from their lives...OH MY!

On a positive note, being Gluten Free has been a godsend. I've been doing it for 2 weeks now and I feel fantastic, no more massive pains in my stomach, no more painful rumblings, no more try outs for the "Gotta Go Gotta Go Gotta Go Right Now" Commercial. It's been wonderful. I feel normal again. Despite not really being Normal.

Hope Your December is going well!

Happy Holidays!

Gluten Free Me...

2009-12-01T10:21:00.000-05:00

So this week in an attempt to find out if I have a slight intolerance to wheat/gluten I have chosen to go Gluten Free to try and see if it helps at all with the bloaty/gassy feelings.

I've been Gluten Free since Saturday and so far so good. It's helping, I don't know if it's a placebo effect or if it's truly making me feel better but I like the feeling of not having massive gas pains rumble through my tummy at inopportune times.

So far I haven't attempted to try any gluten free breads. I heard through the grapevine that they are kind of terrible tasting. There is a sugar free and Gluten Free bakery in the next town over so I may give it a shot this weekend. Will fill you in on what I find.

Anyone else go gluten free but not have celiac? Did it help?

Two for Tuesday

2009-12-01T10:10:00.000-05:00

Since I've been MIA for awhile you are going to get two posts today. Don't get all excited now. I know they can't be that much of a highlight in your day.

Last week I was in the hospital for 3 days. Friday night (the 20th) I went out to dinner, my mother and I had Gyros...I love Gyros...I probably ate my Gyros to fast...and it was huge. So needless to say later on I felt really uncomfortable and full beyond belief. Saturday morning I woke up, went in for a blood test at the lab and carried on with my day. Still feeling really full I just assumed that my large meal for dinner the previous night had carried over into Saturday. I ate soup for lunch and dinner.

I felt miserable, my stomach felt like it was 3 sizes bigger than it was, I felt as though I was having a gallbladder attack even though my gallbladder has been out of my body for 11 years. My back was bothering me up by my chest etc.

Sunday morning I woke up STILL feeling the same way. WTF? Seriously 3 days, there is no way friday dinner is still bugging me. Again I had soup for lunch, had some chicken for dinner with about 1/4 cup of rice which promptly had me going to the bathroom to pray to the porcelain God for a few hours. I made a decision at that point that in the morning I would go to Urgent Care to get checked out because this simply was not normal. Well....I never made it that far...12:00 in the morning I couldn't sleep, my back was killing, I tried sleeping in the recliner it didn't help, I was pacing, I was so uncomfortable that I threw on some sweatpants and went to the emergency room. Well they admitted me.

The next three days consisted of me not being allowed to eat anything but icechips, numerous tests, numerous blood tests (I have a hard enough time giving blood for blood tests due to my poor veins, try getting it out when you are on icechips...youch!) and a screaming woman as a roommate that I wanted to suffocate in the middle of the night.

This was not a pleasant experience in any way. They determined I had pancreatitis but they do not know why I got it, of course if I drank a bottle of Jack Daniel's every night, that would probably be an indicator but since I barely drink, there really was no explanation to them. *sigh* Three days in hell and they can't tell me anything? Grrrrr

Luckily they finally let me out on Wednesday at 2 and I was able to attend Thanksgiving, although I had to keep it light...no fats, or anything...which hello? Isn't that the whole point of Thanksgiving. HA!

Yesterday I went and saw the gastroenterologist...again I'm an enigma...and back to the drawing board with more tests. *sigh*

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving!

Give Thanks

2009-11-26T02:30:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving. Hold your family close in your heart.Have a great day!

Hello? Is Anybody there?

2009-11-17T07:50:00.001-05:00

Does your gym send you personal emails? Mine does. It's like my very friendly reminder saying "Hey fatass get to the gym!!!". One of the trainers and owners of the gym I attend, sent me a little email this morning asking how I was doing and hoping they would see me soon. She does this every few weeks if I haven't been in consistently. It's nice and I feel bad when I don't go to the gym so I vow to get on track.

I'm in kind of an exercise slump right now. I think it has a lot to do with my complete and utter failure in losing weight. I know rationally that I am doing everything right, that my hormonally challenged body fights me every step of the way and that I have to stay the course but it's discouraging working out 2 hours a day and eating well, to ultimately NOT lose weight. To just stay the same. I feel like what's the point? Why bother, I might as well eat crunchy cheetos every night for dinner and wash it down with a milkshake.

I've also been feeling really run down lately, a nagging stomach ache and just completely tired all the time. I am finally seeing the girl that I get my Standard Process supplements from, I am completely tapped out so that could be my issue. I am hoping we can get me back on track to feeling great!

Any tips on staying focused?

It could be a bad sign...

2009-11-16T08:28:00.001-05:00

Lately I never want to get up and go to work. The commute, the hour I have to get up, everything is getting to me and I feel miserable every morning when my eyes pop awake, I look at the clock and it's almost time to get up and go to work.*sigh*

Attempt One..

2009-11-10T03:13:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I will attempt to get up at 4 am so that I can workout prior to work.

Rut Ro Reorge

2009-11-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I met with my lawyer to sign all the settlement paperwork. Finally that nightmare is behind me.

Saturday I went and looked at four condos and put in an offer on the last one I saw, excitement and sheer panic washed over me. I kind of felt like I wanted to throw up. I'm excited and nervous all in one emotion. It's a huge step but one that I've wanted for a very long time. Now I'm just waiting for the seller to come back with her answer. Is that why I feel like I have a burning sensation in my stomach? Have I got an ulcer now? LOL

And to top off the weekend Saturday night I learned that I won the grand prize over at Cranky Fitness, I am beyond psyched...and maybe just maybe I'll have a spare bedroom to put it in by Christmas.

Send your positive energy and keep your fingers crossed for me.

Pet Peeve of the Week...Dedicated to My Uncle Kevin

2009-11-05T10:08:00.000-05:00

I was reading something online and one of their pet peeves was...

Greeting cards that throw sparkles, sequins or confetti on the hapless recipient

and this made me crack up laughing, as I am one of those people that love to put confetti in my greeting cards, you know;
ghosts and bats for Halloween, Leaves for Thanksgiving, Santas for Christmas,

Ducks and Bunnies for Easter and Red White and Blue for Memorial Day and 4th of July...

so this Pet Peeve of the week is dedicated to my Uncle Kevin...who strategically watches for stickers closing up envelopes, the stamp from the post office of where the card was mailed and how thick the envelope is before opening envelopes on holidays...all due to his hatred for his neices "good time".

Love you!

Ouuuuch! (said in my best ET voice)

2009-11-03T09:26:00.000-05:00

That's how I feel this morning. Actually that's how I felt at 3am when I had to get up and take some Advil.
In an effort to get back on track with my exercising I hit two classes last night because my energy was up and I was feeling good. Until about 9pm when the aches started to settle in.

The schedule at the gym has changed, along with the trainers teaching. Pat is now doing the 5pm class and if you ever met Pat you might think he was a softer spoken version of Jillian Michael's. He is normally the bootcamp instructor if that gives you any idea and his idea of fun is roughly 100 pushups a class. He loves the pushup.

So last night was kickboxing at 5pm. He pulled out a deck of cards. All the cards were exercises ranging from punchout on the bag, round house kicks, pushups and abdominal crunches. Depending on the card would determine the time to do the above mentioned exercise. The joker card was all the exercises. It was a great class, as much as I complain about the soreness afterwards, I love Pat classes. He really pushes you and is very encouraging along the way. So after an hour of being severly abused during the 5pm class. I thought, well that's okay I'm still feeling pretty energized I'll stay for the 6pm. Boxing Circuit with Tracy.

Ummm yeah Tracy is Pat Jr. She's tough.
A combo of weights and boxing intervals. By the end of class my shoulders were screaming as were my glutes from all the squats. Normally the pain doesn't set in so quickly for me. Normally Wednesday I would be in pain. But not this time, like previously stated, by 3am I had to take Advil because I couldn't fall back to sleep. It felt awful and awesome all at once. I remember back when I started at the gym, barely able to get into bed. It felt great and I love that feeling.

Now Wednesday may be a different story, as the pain will settle in more usually the second day is the worst for me and it's back to the gym for Group Weight Training.

Ahh it's good to be back!

Pet Peeve of The Week

2009-10-29T08:10:00.000-04:00

Driving in New England.

We technically get four seasons. But in the last several years it's really been reduced to 3. Summer, Fall and Winter...we barely get a hint of spring anymore. So the fact that we travel in rain and snow for probably 9 months out of the year you would think people could get the hang of it.

Yesterday it rained and you would have thought, it was an ice storm again. It took forever to get to and from work. Why is it that people who I would hazard a guess majority have lived here most of their lives suddenly lose all sense when it rains???

Cha Cha Changes...

2009-10-22T07:59:00.000-04:00

So in my quest to try new things, I got my hair colored RED last night, we are also letting it go straight (my natural hair) and we added some bangs. I have gone red one other time, but for the most part my hair is usually brown with some blonde highlights and I usually have a perm.

I'm loving it! I'm so glad I decided to do something different, after all it's just hair, if I don't like it than I can always turn it back.